Book Review: When People Are Big and God is Small

[intro]It’s got a really long title—When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man—but the title of this book does a good job of explaining what author Ed Welch will be unpacking through the pages.[/intro]

Too often, we value the opinions, statements, and encouragement of others more than those of God himself. When we do so, we not only seek validation and value from people, we also show our lack of desire to know God and grow in our personal relationship with him. This book spends time showing us how putting people and their opinion’s over God’s in our life can be detrimental to our spiritual health and growth.

Welch breaks the book down into two sections: How and why we fear others and overcoming the fear of others. The first half of the book breaks down what the issue of fearing what others think of you. Each chapter is titled with an inner monologue that many people have when dealing with this issue. Phrases such as “People will see me, hurt me, or physically reject me if they knew who I really was.” Weaving counseling experience with real-life examples of those he has worked with, Welch creates a strong foundation before getting to the prescriptive part of his work.

In his section, “Overcoming the fear of others,” Welch explains practical and helpful ways to replace fearing people with fear of the Lord. By doing this, we are able to free ourselves from this paralyzing issue that hinders our personal and spiritual growth. Welch says:

Liberation from the fear of man has three components: we must have a biblically informed knowledge of God, other people, and ourselves.

The rest of the book encourages the reader with numerous ways to be free from putting people in our lives in a place that God should only be.

What did I like about this book?

Welch does a great job of taking a universal issue believers face (fear of man) and showing all the ways it presents itself in our lives. Whether we have careers in the business world, ministry, as stay-at-home moms, or anything else, this book will challenge and encourage you.

I also enjoyed the tone of the book. Welch is a seasoned counselor and his shepherd’s heart comes out in his writing. You can’t help but feel like he is sitting in a room with you encouraging you and speaking to much of how you are feeling. Too often, books encouraging you to grow spiritually come of as Pharisaical and legalistic. This book, however, feels like kind-hearted, practical instruction from someone who knows you well.

Any issues in the book?

While some authors do a great job of explaining the problem or the solution, Welch has a balanced approach to how and why we fear others and the best way to tackle the problem.  I did not have any issues with the book and enjoyed his balanced approach to thinking about the issue at hand.

Would I recommend the book?

I would strongly recommend this book. Wherever you find yourself with the issue of fear of man, overcoming peer-pressure, or giving people power of you, this book will encourage and exhort you to keep God at his rightful place in your life.

Any key quotes?

“Regarding other people, our problem is that we need them (for ourselves) more than we love them (for the glory of God). The task God sets for us is to need them less and love them more.” (19)

“The way to eliminate shame associated with sin is to admit sin, be confident that God forgives sin, and engage in the battle against it.” (65)

“The contemporary climate is therapeutic, not religious. People today hunger not for personal salvation, let alone the restoration of an earlier golden age, but for a feeling, the momentary illusion, of personal well-being, health, and psychic security.” (90)

“A growing knowledge of God displaces the fear of people, and it casts out our tendency to be casual with secret sins.” (107)

“Jesus did not die to increase your self-esteem. Rather, Jesus died to bring glory to the Father by redeeming people from the curse of sin.” (146-147)

Where can you buy it?

You can buy this book on Amazon.