Shoes Too Big to Fill

I’m often tempted and go beyond what God asks of me, into the forbidden area of over-responsibility. Wisdom is needed when I interact with people about what I think God would have them consider.

[quote] For if the readiness is there, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have. – 2 Corinthians 8:12 [/quote]

God reminds me that He only holds me responsible for what I have, not what I don’t have. While this is talking about finances, it applies to my responsibility in relationships too. God continues to direct me to ask the question, “Who is responsible, me, God or someone else?”

Going Beyond Our Own Responsibility is Playing God

Taking on responsibility for situations and people I can’t control never goes well. Over-responsibility leads me to believe I need to fix someone or make them do something, and as a result, I end up applying pressure, manipulation, or nagging. It doesn’t take long until I feel anxious, depressed, angry, and even physically exhausted. I don’t like myself when I’m this way. I can’t control others, so the more I try, the uglier it gets. God’s shoes are way too big for me to fill.

To go beyond my own responsibility is playing God, which is a type of idolatry. Just like salvation, growing as a follower of Christ involves the need to turn from trusting myself and what I can do, to Christ and what He did for me. I can receive His help to cover what I’m responsible for and trust God to do His part and influence others to do theirs’.

Resting in Our Responsibilities and Trusting God

Here’s how the Gospel plays out in relational conflict. I do not have to be defensive, but can rest in the payment Jesus made for my sins. If I’m truly forgiven, then why do I need to justify my actions? Instead of becoming defensive, I can apologize for my mistakes and even be confident in God’s defense of me when I am misunderstood or wrongly accused. If I need to confront someone with truth, I can do so in an acceptable way without getting upset if there is resistance to what I share. It is God’s job to take the truth that I offer and work with the person’s heart to bring about obedience. When I try to do what only God can do, either to defend myself or convince the other person, I push and the situation gets messy.

When I’m able to ask myself, “Who is responsible?” and then act with wisdom, my relationships become healthier and I experience feelings of peace, freedom, and relief. I’m able to pray, rest in God for the results He desires, and even be available to help others IF they want help. I think I’ll stick with my own shoes. They are hard enough to fill.