#ValidationViaSocialMedia

[intro]“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3, NLT)[/intro]

#ValidationViaSocialMedia?

Do you use social media to draw attention to yourself? Do you worry about the number of likes and comments you get? Since we sometimes do permissible—or even good—things for bad reasons, it is worth considering what characterizes and motivates your e-behavior. Could it be that deep down you are using social media to find validation from others? More importantly, when God looks under the surface into the recesses of your heart (Jeremiah 17:10), what does He find?

If we’re honest, we can acknowledge that we often look for others to subdue our fears and help us feel important instead of letting God meet our deepest needs. Accordingly, social media can be the arena where people-pleasers go to binge.

First, a quick #disclaimer: to avoid any misunderstandings, from the outset keep in mind that I’m addressing the invisible motives behind our actions, not our actions at face value. I’m not recommending a rigid morality that prohibits being principled, affirming beauty, or being bold with our faith. Further, know I write this as a gut check for the person in the mirror, not to give ammunition for criticizing others.

Here are some ways we seek validation via social media:

#BeingQuarrelsome

We can look to social media to validate our perspectives. Frankly, some status updates exist to belittle those who don’t share our political or ideological leanings. Some exchanges masquerade as discussion, but they really amount to being argumentative and giving unsolicited advice. Yet, when we trust that a sovereign God is in control of this fallen world and that His redemptive plan is unfolding, we won’t become easily irritated, nor will be quick to criticize, nor will we impatiently force the issue with those who disagree.

While we should sometimes be thought-provoking and be willing to take stands, it can hard to tackle big ideas in the same news feed that has dozens of memes (like this one) and cat videos.

Thus, we should keep in mind that ideas confined to snippets of 140 characters or less are usually oversimplified and easily talk past each other. Since it is easy to be inflammatory behind a keyboard, consider applying Paul’s drama-reducing advice:

Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone. (2 Timothy 2:23-24)

Instead of wasting energy with petty quarrels that do little to influence those we dispute with, we should be gracious, model a cool head, and consider not taking ourselves so seriously.

#BodyImage

We can also look to social media to validate our body image even though our true value and worth resides in our standing before God:

Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart (1 Samuel 16:7, ESV).

Yet sometimes, vanity leads us to show off our bodies in the hopes that others will publicly acknowledge that we are desirable. Pride can also take on a much subtler form as we become troubled and envious when folks seem to celebrate body types we don’t identify with. Regardless of the specific way we go about it, whenever we attempt to get validation by what others think about our appearance, we end up making unhealthy comparisons and fail to embrace what matters most to God. Further, one recent study reports that posting too many ‘selfies’ can actually hurt real-world relationships.

The scripture says that vanity is an ugly form of glory-theft and that being envious of others is like having rot in our bones. In contrast, humility, modesty, and being glad for others is truly appealing to God. Since Christians are beautified with Christ, the truths of the Gospel can liberate us from vainglory, competitive jealousy, and other enslaving insecurities. When we are validated by God Himself, we can be truly fulfilled by glorifying Jesus, and rather than using others to inflate our fragile egos, we are free to build them up instead.

#FlauntedSpirituality

Finally, we can look to social media to validate our spirituality. While it is good to be unashamed and to openly acknowledge Jesus, in Matthew 6:1-7, Jesus warns about practicing our spirituality and good deeds before others in order to be seen by them. If the motivation for posting even good content is to be known as someone who is virtuous, we are off base.

This past May, The New York Times published an article about the over-saturation of “Christian-ese” on social media. Poignantly, the author observed that invoking holiness can be a way, “to brag about your life … while pretending to be humble, fish for a compliment, acknowledge a success (without sounding too conceited), or purposely elicit envy.” Yet, when we live out of the Gospel, we don’t need others to feel good about our spirituality. Instead of putting an over-spiritualized foot forward to look like we have it all together, we can live sincere and straightforward lives, even if it seems less spiritually impressive.

#ValidationViaTheGospel

Ultimately, the glory of God and our joy is at stake. If our identity is rooted firmly in the truths of the Gospel, we have assurance that we are completely known, doted on, and fully accepted by God Himself because of the sacrifice of Jesus on our behalf; this validation is ultimate and will trump the need for fickle human approval. Since the Gospel moves us away from drawing attention to ourselves in a self-centered existence on social media, we can actually be light to world, instead of being just like it.

 

Image credit: Mike Hiatt