October 3, 2014

Porn’s Lies vs. the Gospel Truth

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[intro]Did you know that 71% of men would click on a porn link if no-one else would know?[/intro]

There are two schools of thoughts about pornography. The first is common, especially in our culture. These people believe that porn isn’t real adultery. After all, the men and women on screen are paid actors, and it’s not like they themselves are acting out with someone in real life.

The other group looks at what Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart,” and says—correctly—that intentional porn use is sin. Accidental exposure to porn happens, but intentional viewing by definition involves lustful intent. It is adultery.

The Science of Porn Use

Jesus’ statement, it turns out, can be backed up by science. For example, two scientists in the 1980s (Dr. Dolf Zillmann and Dr. Jennings Bryant) exposed some participants to 36 pornographic films. By the end of their study, they discovered that the people who were exposed to porn were much less likely to find pleasure and satisfaction in their own partners. Porn, Dr. William Struthers explains in his book Wired for Intimacy, literally rewires people’s brain. Dopamine (among other chemicals) fires in the brain while watching porn, training the brain that it likes variety, not one person, not the two becoming one flesh, as God ordained in Genesis 2:24. (Read more in the free e-book Your Brain on Porn.)

The more porn a person views, the more it adds up. After years working with men and women entrenched in pornography, Dr. Mary Anne Layden concluded, “Having spent so much time in unnatural sexual experiences with paper, celluloid and cyberspace, they seem to find it difficult to have sex with a real human being.” Pornography, she says, “is toxic miseducation about sex and relationships,” training men and women to expect online “designer sex” in the real world.

So what’s a Christ-follower to do? What should those people who aren’t tempted by porn tell the 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women who are?

Combat Advice Part 1: Porn Lies and the Gospel Truth

The first thing is to recognize the lies of porn and replace them with the truth of the gospel.

Porn culture says: “This is your body, taken by me.”
The gospel says: “This is my body, which is given for you” (Luke 22:19).

Porn culture says: “This is real life, that we would not be denied our every sexual desire, no matter how misogynistic or demeaning.”
The gospel says: “This is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (John 17:3).

Porn culture says: “Cast all your anxieties into fantasy, because there you can believe for a brief moment that you are desired.”
The gospel says: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

Porn culture says: “Your life is found in your hidden adventures online.”
The gospel says: “Your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3).

Porn culture says: “Seek the imaginary sexual admiration that comes from fantasy people.”
The gospel says: “Seek the glory that comes from the only God” (John 5:44).

Combat Advice Part 2: Get Help

The second way to combat porn’s temptations (or other idols) is by confessing, not in the priestly sacramental sense, but in finding someone who will pray for you, encourage you in godliness, and who will hold you accountable for your online viewing habits.

Of course, software tools can also be crucial in helping break the temptation. Riverview recommends:

  • OpenDNS.com – router-based filtering
  • X3Watch.com – Internet monitoring and reporting
  • CovenantEyes.com – Internet monitoring, reporting, and filtering. (Get your first month free with the promo code Riverview.)

If you’re personally struggling with porn, this kind of confession—this breaking of a sinful habit—will absolutely be painful. It will be humbling, and it will be hard. But your relationship with God, and your relationship with your own spouse, will be absolutely better for it.

Image Credit: D. Sinclair Terrasidius

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